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« Shoegasm: Report Signature Black Sequin Wedges | Main | The Diary of Miss X: 13-04-09 »

Competition: Endzeit Bunkertracks IV Winner

By Destroyx | March 12, 2009

Thanks to everyone for entering and putting so much creativity into your entries. I had a lot of fun reading them all and found it very difficult to pick a winner.

The winner is Bea (entry 37) for the following hilarious entry:

  1. Band name: Attention (W)horr0r
  2. Hit song title: PsyCLONE 10-1
  3. Short bio: Contrivance of Andre “Neur0decay” Johnson of Hoot Owl, Oklahoma (a.k.a Apokaliptik Holocaust, Amerika), this hot new one man bedroom project is sweeping MySpace and the panties off jailbait cybergoths by storm. Groundbreaking 4×4 beats, trance leads courtesy of Fruity Loops and photos of Neur0decay mounting a tank in front of the local armory with Photoshopped neon green radiation symbols ARE THE FRESHEST NEW THING TO HIT THE SCENE. Truly a pioneer, Johnson adores dousing himself in liquid latex, sampling Hellraiser and spamming your MySpace comments with photos of himself wearing uberc0re dust masks that give you horizontal scroll bars.

My favourite other entries were:

Liam (entry 12)

  1. Band name: DestroyX
  2. Hit song title: “(ZooGy ZooGy ZooG) Where Are You?”
  3. Short bio: After ZooG, her partner in Australian electro-industrial outfit Angelspit, was tragically, fatally crushed by a falling synth in their studio, DestroyX had a meltdown of Britney Spears proportions. Following increasingly erratic live performances (usually involving her playing Angelspit albums while lying on stage and moaning), her solo album, “DestroyedX”, has been delayed indefinitely. This song, a bizarrely reworded cover of the theme song to the children’s cartoon series “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?”, is included on this compilation to give the poor girl some royalties to live on. She was great once, you know.

Sovereign (entry 19)

  1. Band name: The Noise Boys
  2. Hit song title: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s [BONE]
  3. Short bio: Hailing from sunny Scotland, the Noise Boys’ specialty is hardcore remixes of audiobooks. Using the combined power of such classics as Lord of the Rings with samples of gunshots, hammers and cars back-firing, the Noise Boys’ debut in 2007 with the critically acclaimed album “Canterbury [WAILS]” both educated and rocked the faces off a wide audience. Now back this year with their latest album, “Alice through the looking [BLAST]“, The Noise Boys seem set to bring both classic literature and the underground music scene together in what some consider to be a mash of epic proportions.

Slivertorn (entry 22)

  1. Band Name: Dead Malice
  2. Hit song title: Leggings are dead, throw your clothes out bitch
  3. Short bio: From the unknown underground of toxic Manila, comes the cyberfetish phenomenon called Dead Malice. Taken from the filipino-english slang “dedma” meaning to “fucking-ignore-everything-and-everyone-you-hate”, Dead Malice assaults your senses with powernoize distortions of the dying throes of a mermaid rotting in a manhole, mixed with blood, sweat, and the essence of a thousand lemon curd cupcakes. With sweltering grindcore beats and lyrics inspired by the works of Edvard Munch and mass media induced seizures, Dead Malice is the ultimate Asian anti-fashion that would leave you crawling on the floor with your head hanging out of your guts, praying for a cup of strawberry tea.

Etak (entry 39)

  1. Band name: Oonst Oonst
  2. Hit song title: Sexually Transmitted Dance
  3. Short bio: Appearing pretty much overnight in the shady sidestreets of the redlight district in Amsterdam, Oonst Oonst came crashing into the scene with sirens blaring and middle fingers raised. Drawing inspiration from such powerhouses as The Prodigy, Prince, Christina Aguilera, and “Your Mother’s Vagina”, Oonst will crack open your skull and fuck the meaty contents. They have yet to play a full show as on-stage overdoses and barroom fights seem to be the norm for these assholes.

PIG (entry 6)

  1. Band name: Taiwan Fuckdamage
  2. Hit song title: Blistercunt (LaPlegua remix)
  3. Short bio: Taiwan Fuckdamage is the innovative new project from former Cold Scalpel frontman Vorn Boden. Hailing from Leipzig, Germany (though some would assume he was born during an amphetamine-fueled orgy in a mental institution) Boden unleashes a non-stop violent assault of 12 cock-rattling tracks on his new album Crimson Sperm. When asked the inspiration for his new band name Boden replied simply, “It sounds like hate.” Despite the floorkiller beats, pulsating synths and aggressive vocals Vorn rejects the label “Industrial” preferring his own descriptior - “Fuckmaschinenmusik”. His personal motto: “One man, one pound of powder, the only objective: Total Annihilation.”

Jelliusbeanus (entry 10)

  1. Band name: Subdural Hæmatoma
  2. Hit song title: Headshot
  3. Short bio: After the surprise success of their Industrial cover of “Wind Beneath My Wings,” Canada’s Subdural Hæmatoma storm the dance floors again with “Headshot,” the leadoff track from their debut album, _Intracranial Pressure_. Taking inspiration from DJ Shadow, Psychopomps, Front Line Assembly, and Haujobb in equal measure, they unleash 13 frenetic tracks destined for the clubs. Amazingly, the beats in “Headshot” were formed entirely out of gunshot loops from presidential assassination attempts, and the sampled guitars were built from old Kenny Loggins’ cassettes. Both “Bloodpiß” and “Scrotal Pressure” also have club potential, and we’ll be keeping our eye on these rivetheads!

Topics: Competition, Destroyx.com |

14 Responses to “Competition: Endzeit Bunkertracks IV Winner”

  1. Zane Says:
    March 12th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Didn’t win. Damn.
    Just means I’ll try again next time.

    Good work to those above - they’re great concepts.

  2. vustoxular Says:
    March 12th, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Congrats to everyone featured!

  3. simi Says:
    March 12th, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    I knew you’d like the “Zoogy zoogy zoog” :) I actually thought that one might win- it was hilarious!

  4. Pseudoextropian Says:
    March 12th, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    They’re all so outrageous, I love it! D, you must do more of these little challenges.

  5. Twisted Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 1:38 am

    Congratulations to all the winners :)

  6. Jennie Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 2:10 am

    congrats to everyone!!!!!!!! they were awesome

  7. BoyOfTheEnders Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am

    Hell yeah, well congrats to the winners.
    It was uber fun.
    I actually posted one I’ve had in my head for months…lol

    We should do that more often, just for phun.

  8. Blitz Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 6:21 am

    All of those ones really made me giggle :)
    they were really well done, and extremely entertaining!
    Congratulations to the winner!
    xx

  9. PIG Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 7:22 am

    The winner was probably the most amusing that I read. (congratz Bea!)

    Glad you liked mine too!

  10. Kara Says:
    March 13th, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    ehhh…at least I tried…

    I am not too creative with words sometimes, give me visual and I am much better :/

  11. slivertorn Says:
    March 19th, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    SO CLOSE!! SPECIAL MENTION… @_@

    Oh well, I guess I would have to order my own *non-free* copy of endzeit bunkertracks T_T

  12. Lisa Says:
    April 3rd, 2009 at 2:39 am

    We miss you!!

  13. Trashcore Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    Ahaha these were funny as. Congrats to the winner.

    Miss hearing from you, dear. Come back to us, yeah?

  14. Tess Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Those brightened my day so. much. ;P thanks :)

Comments